pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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