you guys were way drunker than both of me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
