you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
