For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize