So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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