Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
