The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
