If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
