hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize