You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
