we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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