I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
