If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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