I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
