dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
