I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
