Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
how does that bad decision feel?
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