to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
