this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
