I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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