i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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