Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
