i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize