this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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