shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
