is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i out mim tonsoeep
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