I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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