Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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