You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
love makes seman taste better
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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