that's an acceptable place to lick
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
