forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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