i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Barsexuality is the new black.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
