Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
