Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
