I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
