They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
