You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
