We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
