I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
