nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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