Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
