Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
