this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
