i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
