walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize