his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize