Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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