hell yes lets make some ravioli
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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