i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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