what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I touched a dick in church today
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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