So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
