fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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