You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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