i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize