White coat. Heels.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
