Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
