She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
