I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
