jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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