You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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