I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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