are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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