i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
