i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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