if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
