Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
