My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
