I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
