my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
vagina is talking i cant
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
