at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize