There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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