Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
