We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
