I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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