I'm jealous of your bromance
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
