Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
