New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
