I think I am morally bankrupt
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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