Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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